Forgetting and Remembering

A new post in the series - Reminders to self

Sometimes going through one's old writings, journals, diaries can be an incredibly learning experience. It makes one recall and perhaps even renew for oneself the insight, the wisdom of the moment that had expressed itself in those words from years ago.

Often there is a definite reason why one is led to a particular old scribbling. Perhaps it is time to remember something important, really remember. Perhaps it is time to re-dedicate oneself. Perhaps one needs a reminder. A reminder to remember.

Sometimes old scribblings take on new forms. Not necessarily because the writer has grown wiser, but more because the writer is seeking a greater clarity inside. This seeking is also a reminder. A reminder to not forget to seek.

A newer outer form also becomes a reminder. A reminder to remember and offer.

"Although his ego claims the world for its use,
Man is a dynamo for the cosmic work;
Nature does most in him, God the high rest:
Only his soul’s acceptance is his own."

In our egoistic journeys through life, as we go through various trials and tribulations, ups and downs, we generally forget that we are constantly being protected, pushed, guided and led by powers and forces beyond us, beyond our highest intellectual capabilities that we normally use to govern our lives, our choices and decisions. We may call these higher powers or forces by any name. We may call it the Divine.

In our ignorant intellectual debates on free will and destiny, we forget that in the ultimate analysis we are only instruments of a Cosmic Plan, and though blessed with a free will we have been put here on this earth to fulfil a tiny little part of His Grand Goal. We forget that we are here to manifest in our small ways His Divine Will, to play our little part in His Lila.

"Often our thoughts are finished cosmic wares
Admitted by a silent office gate
And passed through the subconscient’s galleries,
Then issued in Time’s mart as private make.
For now they bear the living person’s stamp;
A trick, a special hue claims them his own.
All else is Nature’s craft and this too hers.
Our tasks are given, we are but instruments;
Nothing is all our own that we create:
The Power that acts in us is not our force."

We forget, therefore we have to remember.

Because we are steeped in the Ignorance of our lower nature, enslaved by the prison of our physical-vital-mental selves, we forget that we are not really doing anything that we think we are doing. So we have to remember that even in our blind ignorance it is the Nature's Will manifesting itself through the outward actions being done through our hands and minds. We forget that we only have a responsibility for our actions and no claim on their outcome.

"Even Nature’s ignorance is Truth’s instrument;
Our struggling ego cannot change her course:
Yet is it a conscious power that moves in us,
A seed-idea is parent of our acts
And destiny the unrecognised child of Will.
Infallibly by Truth’s directing gaze
All creatures here their secret self disclose,
Forced to become what in themselves they hide.
For He who Is grows manifest in the years
And the slow Godhead shut within the cell
Climbs from the plasm to immortality.
But hidden, but denied to mortal grasp,
Mystic, ineffable is the spirit’s truth,
Unspoken, caught only by the spirit’s eye.
When naked of ego and mind it hears the Voice;
It looks through light to ever greater light
And sees Eternity ensphering Life."

We forget all this and that's why we are quick to take all the credit for the success of our actions and put all the blame on to the Divine or Nature if there is failure (or cry about our Bad Luck!). So we have to remember and offer all work to the Divine with no concern whatsoever for the outcome. We know we must do this, but still we don’t, we can’t.

We don’t do it because we forget.

We forget that all this is Hers, so we have to remember to offer it all to Her. We forget that we are only children of Hers struggling in Ignorance, so we have to remember that only Her Force and Her Grace can help us crawl out of this Ignorance and show us the Light.

"All stumbled on behind a stumbling Guide,
Yet every stumble is a needed pace
On unknown routes to an unknowable goal.
All blundered and straggled towards the One Divine."

Perhaps there is a deeper necessity for this forgetfulness because all is part of the Divine Plan.

"This world was not built with random bricks of Chance,
A blind god is not destiny’s architect;
A conscious power has drawn the plan of life,
There is meaning in each curve and line."

We are perhaps led to this forgetfulness so we may focus on the external world and all the actions that we must pursue. It is this action in the outer world that allows us to manifest and express outwardly what we may have experienced as part of an inward growth, whatever little that may be.

"This world is God fulfilled in outwardness."

Without the outward action we may not be able to translate any inner change into a concrete and sustained transformation. Without a reasonable dose of forgetfulness we may not be fully immersed in the outward action; without such an immersion an identification with the task may not be there and without which the task may not become a natural expression or outpouring of whatever part in us that has begun the journey of a deeper, wider and upward progress.

In the ultimate analysis, this simultaneous inner and outer journey is what helps us correct the multiple defects of the different parts of our physical-vital-mental nature. Only this can over time lead to a dynamic change of our outer nature which is essential for our evolutionary process. And for the purpose of our individual growth, this ‘back and forth’ between the outward external action and an inward redirecting of energies is what keeps us ‘testing’ for ourselves whether we are really changing. And for that we are given this experience of forgetfulness.

But we must remember that we are also given the ability to remember. We are given this because we must remember what we forget. It is this remembrance that takes us back inward. To the inner chambers where all journey is supposed to take us.

And yet we forget to remember, we forget to offer. We forget and we keep forgetting it more and more in our forgetfulness. It is as if we are lost in our own forgetfulness. The journey is long, but it begins as all journeys begin, with the first step. And that first step is remembrance.

Remember and Offer.

Verses from Savitri by Sri Aurobindo

Photos by Suhas Mehra

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To see previous post in the series, Reminders to self, click here.

To see all posts in the series, click here.

Of Vibrations, Victories and Changing the World

A new post in the series - Satyam Shivam Sundaram

A series featuring inspiring words from various sources, words that speak of timeless truths, words that remind me of the deeper and hidden truth behind surface events and phenomena, words that shine light when all seems dark, words that are just what I need - for this moment and for all times to come.

Source

The world is full of innumerable problems. Anywhere we turn, we see suffering, wars, destruction, disease, disasters, environmental threats, natural resource depletion. So many things that often overwhelm us because we don't know what we, individually can do about any of these.

People love to quote - Be the change you wish to see in the world. But what does it really mean? Surely each one of us can do a little something to make the world a better place. For instance, as I said in my previous post, even by becoming more mindful of our consumption patterns we can add our tiny little bit for the good of the environment.

But is there something more we can do, in addition to changing our outer actions or behaviour? Something on a deeper, more fundamental level? On the level of human nature itself? On the level of our own nature? 

The other day while doing some research I was drawn to the following passage from Volume 5 of the Collected Works of the Mother. The power of the vibration of goodwill, the power of an absolutely sincere effort to gain a victory on some little imperfection of our nature, the power of this seemingly small but incredibly difficult work we must do if we want to really make a meaningful difference in the world around us.

Can one help the world with a vibration of goodwill?

With good wishes one can change many things, only it must be an extremely pure and unmixed goodwill. It is quite obvious that a thought, a perfectly pure and true prayer, if it is sent forth into the world, does its work. But where is this perfectly pure and true thought when it passes into the human brain? There are degradations.

If through an effort of inner consciousness and knowledge, you can truly overcome in yourself a desire, that is to say, dissolve and abolish it, and if through inner goodwill, through consciousness, light, knowledge, you are able to dissolve the desire, you will be, first of all in yourself personally, a hundred times happier than if you had satisfied this desire, and then it will have a marvellous effect. It will have a repercussion in the world of which you have no idea. It will spread forth. For the vibrations you have created will continue to spread. These things grow larger like the snowball.

The victory you win in your character, however small it be, is one which can be gained in the whole world. And it is this I meant just now: all things which are done outwardly without changing the inner nature—hospitals,schools,etc.—are done through vanity, for the feeling of being great, whilst these small unnoticed things overcome in oneself gain an infinitely greater victory, though the effects are hidden. Every movement in you which is false and opposed to the truth is a negation of the divine life.

Your small efforts have considerable results which you don’t even have the satisfaction of knowing, but which are true and have precisely an impersonal and general effect. If you really want to do something good, the best thing you can do is to win your small victories in all sincerity, one after another, and thus you will do for the world the maximum you are able to. 

Will our victory act for the whole world?

It will not change the whole world. For your victory is too small for the whole world. Millions of such victories are needed. It is a very small victory if compared with the whole. But it gets mingled with other things.... It could be said that it is like bringing into the world the capacity of doing a thing.

But for this to act effectively, at times centuries are necessary; it is a question of proportion. You can try it out (and it is much more difficult) even with those around you. You must be absolutely sincere, not do it with the idea of getting a result, but because you want to gain a victory. If you gain it, it will necessarily have an effect on those around you.

But if a bargaining element is mixed up in it, if you do this thing because you want to get that other: “I want to overcome my defects, but that person must also overcome his”, then that doesn’t work. It is a merchant’s attitude: “I give this, but I shall take that.” That spoils everything. There is neither sincerity nor purity. It is bargaining. Nothing must be mixed with your sincerity, your aspiration, your motive. You do things for love of the Divine, for truth, for perfection, without any other motive, any other idea. And that brings results.

CWM, Vol. 5, pp. 19-20

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To see previous post in the series, Satyam Shivam Sundaram, click here.
To see all posts in the series, click here.

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Linking this with ABC Wednesday: V, V is for Vibration, Victory 

Being Two, and in Other News

Baisakhi, April 14, 2013 was when it started.  On this day that marks the beginning of the New Year in the traditional Hindu Solar Calendar, celebrated under different names in different parts of India, this blog took its form with a simple beginning.

Two years, 240 posts later, I am still figuring out, sometimes struggling with, how to express the ideal which led me to start this blog. In this process I have realised that instead of figuring out what the blog really wants to be, if I can be more certain of what this blog does not want to be (as mentioned here, here, and here) I will be perhaps able to draw closer to the true form that this blog is meant to express. Of course this will happen slowly, over time.

But as I said in my first anniversary post on this blog, there is always more to come still....

Since the truer reality is always the inner one, I can say with certainty that the last two years of blogging have given me plenty of opportunities to work on my inner attitude. There have been many moments of recognition, acceptance, denial, frustration, letting go, surrender, struggle and many other things that help us see our shortcomings, inadequacies, imperfections, all of which help us grow in humility and encourage us to strive for further progress and greater perfection.

To reiterate, I am speaking not only of the outer work but more importantly of the inner work that we must do via the outer work. And in that sense the outer work on this blog has been extremely helpful in providing ample opportunities for the inner work.

The second anniversary of the blog also gives me an opportunity to once again express my sincere gratitude. To That which is the source of everything, the beginning, the middle and the end; the Source from where everything emerges and to whom everything eventually reaches; the Force which makes everything possible; the Infinite that is behind and beyond everything that manifests and expresses.

I am deeply thankful for all the support and encouragement I have found through my readers -- those who share their thoughts about my posts either in the form of comments or private messages, and also those who engage with the content in silence. Thank you!

Since we are two, this is also an opportunity to share two other items of news that are closely connected with this work of writing and blogging.

NEWS I: A new blog

Yes. You read it right. I have started a new blog. With my husband. Yes, you read that right too.

But it is not really a blog in the conventional sense of the blog. There you will not find too many 300- or 500-word posts. Matriwords is more of a place for us to compile and share some of our longer writings, essays, research commentaries that are inspired by the social-cultural-political thought of Sri Aurobindo.

In addition to our own writings, we'll also be featuring there writings by some of the other thinkers and scholars whose works have inspired us and who continue to guide us in our ongoing study of Sri Aurobindo.

Because of its more academic nature, the content on matriwords will be updated at a bit slower pace than is typical with most blogs. In addition to an introductory post, already there are three essays and papers shared there: one written by yours truly; other that I had co-authored with my husband, and yet another written by a well-known scholar and practitioner of Integral Yoga.

I hope some readers will be interested to explore some of the content on matriwords.

NEWS II: A new review

I am happy to share another wonderful review of my book, ABC's of Indian National Education. It is a very special review because it is written by someone who is not only a dedicated intellectual and spiritual aspirant in his own right, but is also completely in sync with the deeper purpose and intention which guided my book in the first place.

Anurag Banerjee has several degrees in Commerce and Business Administration and has taught at a few insitutions. But his real work revolves around researching, writing, archiving and publishing important works in the field of Sri Aurobindo Studies. As the founder-chairman of Overman Foundation, a non-profit organization which he started in 2010 and which runs India’s only online research centre focusing on the vision, mission, thought and works of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother, Anurag has been working tirelessly to bring to the readers several hitherto unknown or lesser-known works comprising of intellectual, biographical, anecdotal nature as well as several interview-based and photographic works that shine new light on the life and work of the Masters.

Anurag is also a poet, translator, and a well-published author in Bengali and English. At the age of twenty, he penned a biography of Dilip Kumar Roy titled Achinpather Dibyapathik, and at the age of twenty-one he translated one hundred poems of Sri Aurobindo into Bengali titled Debotar Shrom. Both these books were published in 2008. His first book in English, Nirodbaran: The Surrealist’s Journey, was published in December 2006 when he was twenty-two years old.

So it was a matter of great honour and happiness for me when Anurag agreed to write a review for my book. In his review, he writes:

Though the author has referred to the works of Rabindranath Tagore, Jiddu Krishnamurti, Shashi Tharoor, Pavan K. Varma, Makarand Paranjpe and others, the inspiration behind ABC’s of Indian National Education is certainly the works of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother. The author has delved into the ocean of their writings and presented before the reader a number of invaluable pearls of wisdom related to the theme of education.

The academic scenario of the country would have been quite different had Sri Aurobindo’s concept of education was put to practice. The path to progress has been showed by Sri Aurobindo and his spiritual collaborator, the Mother, but the author has shown—in ABC’s of Indian National Education—how to tread on it successfully. It would be an error to assume that this book is only for the members of the academic world. Nay, on the contrary, it is for the general reader as well. One cannot help but appreciate the author’s lucid style of writing and her thought-provoking insights and observations on how the academic model should be. She has hinted how we can have a modern outlook on education as well as a modern method of educating without ignoring the rich cultural heritage of the land. The author has also successfully explained how the system of education in India could be appropriately Indianized.

To read his full review, click here.

I am very grateful to Anurag for taking the time to review the book.


NEWS III:  More to come still....

While there is always more news to share, but I stop now for the time being.

And as I begin the third year of this blog, all I can say is that my sincere aspiration and hope is that my work on this blog becomes a means for truer inspiration and a deeper engagement with ideas and thoughts in the years to come.

Like with everything else in life, there may be some new changes on this blog too in the coming year. Stay tuned!

Thank you, everyone. Happy reading. Happy writing. Happy thinking.

Photo credit: Suhas Mehra

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Linking this with ABC Wednesday, N: N is for News, New

All is Not Well

A new post in the series Light and Sound

When a picture searches for its music, or a piece of music finds its right picture...the result is a magical experience of Light and Sound.  

Rassouli, Breath of Dawn

Certainly, not all is well with the world today.
I don't have to give any examples to prove this fact.

Certainly, not all will get well with the world any time soon.
I don't have to give any reasons to explain why.

Certainly, not all well-wishers of the world, who are more in love with their voices and opinions than the world, have spoken their last about how to make it all well.
I don't have to say anything more on why these well-wishers will not stop any time soon.

But one thing I am, and I sincerely hope to remain, quite certain of is this --

This is not a never-ending winter.
The Sun has a way to melt down the hardest ice and thaw out the harshest freeze.
The Light has a way to dispel the darkest darkness from the deepest corner and cranny.
The Dawn has a way to bring a new beginning, a greater faith, a stronger hope.

And what I am also certain of is this --

This is true not only of The World.

God shall grow up while the wise men talk and sleep;

For man shall not know the coming till its hour
And belief shall be not till the work is done.

This is also true of my little world.

Whatever the appearance we must bear, 

Whatever our strong ills and present fate, 

When nothing we can see but drift and bale, 

A mighty Guidance leads us still through all. 

Ustad Amjad Ali Khan, Raag Nat Bhairav

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This is 220th post for the blog. An interesting number, I thought. And this happens to be a post to celebrate Makar Sankranti & Pongal, an occasion to welcome new and auspicious beginnings. For my world. For The World.

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To see previous post in the series Light and Sound, click here.

To see all posts in the series, click here.

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Poetry source: Sri Aurobindo, Savitri, Book I, Canto IV, p. 59 & 55
Picture source: here
Kolam outside my home, this morning, drawn by a young talented girl in our neighborhood

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Written for Blog-a-rhythm Wordy Wednesday Prompt: Never-ending Winter
Linking this up with ABCWednesday, A: A is for All, Auspicious

Knowing by Grace

A special post for Navratri

A new post in the series - When a Picture Leads

Stifled by her own fears, trapped in her own powerlessness, and caught in her own vulnerability, she didn't even realize how deep she was getting into a pattern of life that would soon be an all-enveloping, a kind of a vicious circle that will be almost impossible to break.

Till one day in that very rare moment when all had become so very quiet within…in that moment when she got a glimpse of Her, looking radiant, resilient, self-possessed, self-assured, blissfully happy with no care in the world, yet with eyes that spoke the language of care, compassion and kindness.

And she instantly knew this was a moment of Grace; this was no chance meeting.

Whom she saw was none other but a vision of what she too could become; in fact She was none other but she, without all the veils, all the masks.

Then in another moment of Grace she knew exactly which way to steer the wheels of her life, she received the knowledge to begin the journey to slowly turn the vision into reality, she knew the masks that must be gotten rid of, she could sense the truth which needed to be unveiled slowly, layer by layer; the Shakti was waking up.

Pictures taken by Suhas Mehra 

Event: Dance Drama titled Naari (Woman)

Venue: Sri Aurobindo Auditorium, Auroville

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To read previous post in the series, click here.

To read all posts in the series, When a Picture Leads, click here.

To read last year's Navratri special posts, click here and here. 

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Linking this with Five Sentence Fiction, Prompt: Wheels
Linking this with ABCWednesday, K: K is for Knowledge

Change, Beauty and Truth

Change is the only constant, it is often said. But nothing in the world is as simple as a cliche.

We must dig a bit deeper if we want to get closer to the truth.

What kind of change are they talking about who speak of constant change? Is it only an outer change? Or only an inner change? Or both? Who or what makes the change possible? Does it happen on its own? Or does someone or something compel or force or push for a change? Is change a natural phenomenon? Or is there another master-plan working behind the surface phenomenon of Nature? 

What is the outcome of change? Is it always for the better? Can change also be for worse? What distinguishes a good change from the one that is not? Who decides what is a good change and what is not? Who decides what is good, period?

So many questions. And I am not done yet. There is also the question of why.

Why does change occur? What is the need for change? Why can't things stay the same? Is there a  plan being unfolded through all the changes we see happening around us? Can we ever know that plan? Or even get a glimpse of it?

I am not sure I or any of us can have the complete answers to any or some of these questions. I am not even sure if I have all the questions yet. 

But sometimes you don't need to have the answers. Or at least not right away. You just need to keep asking the questions. More questions. So that you don't believe anything just because it is told to you by an authority, by your textbook, by your teacher. 

Change maybe a constant. But perhaps so is Beauty. So is Joy, and so is Delight.  

This may not make any sense the moment we start looking around and see all the horrible stuff happening. In our lives, individually and collectively. In our homes, in our communities, in our worlds. Where is any Beauty in all the gross, all the terrible, heart-breaking, horrendous human behaviour that we witness all around us? Where is the joy, the delight in any of that? 

And that's when we begin to want a change. We begin to lose our innate joy, our innate delight in the world, in life, in existence. We begin to question Beauty. We begin to question whether any of this madness makes any sense. We begin to feel restless. We begin to wonder if we can do anything to change something. We begin to ask what changes we need in the system out there so that some of this madness can be stopped. We begin to get angry, more angry when we don't see any changes happening. We get more restless. And so it goes on....

But where does it all take us? Do things ever change? Does the system become better? Does the horrible stuff stop? Or does one kind of terrible replace the other? 

And a time comes when we start using another cliche - the more things change the more they stay the same.

If all change leads to only more of the sameness, why change in the first place? 

So we are back to not really knowing anything. Not really having any answers. 

And yet we must continue. Continue asking the questions, continue living the questions. With the hope that someday we will be able to "see" the truth, not in a book or in a system or in a religion, but within.

Change, but not for the sake of changing. Change, for evolving, progressing, transforming. Change, for constantly discovering beauty, joy, and truth.

We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, 

but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.

~ Maya Angelou

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This reflection was triggered after a conversation I had with my 20-year-old niece studying Sociology, trying to make sense of this thing called 'Society.'

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Linking this post with Write Tribe Wednesday Prompt: Write a post inspired by a Maya Angelou quote. The quote I have chosen is not exactly a quote on writing, as per the prompt guideline. But on some level, everything in life has a connection with writing, including a butterfly's beauty and change. 

Image source: Google

That Late Night Chat

P: Listen, I have something to tell you. I was thinking that here we are, almost a couple. People speak of us as if we are made for each other....

S: But aren't we? I mean, do you even doubt that?

P: You never let me say my thing....the moment I begin you cut me off. What's the point, really? I better not say anything. And simply do what I must do.

S: Okay, okay, I won't interrupt now, go ahead and tell me. Tell me all that is running through that pretty little head of yours. And what about this thing that you must do?

P: I was thinking that while it is true that we are a couple and yes, maybe we are made for each other as everyone says, but we are still two individual people. Very different.

S: So? Everyone is different.

P: But that's not what I want to say really. You see, there is this thought that has been bothering me for a while now. There is this urge in me, sort of like a deep wish, a deep desire maybe, I don't know...that I should venture out in the world on my own, alone, find out what more I can be. Not as one part of the "couple", not as one piece of the "made for each other". Just me, by myself.

S: Hmmm....

P: Don't just "hmmm" me, tell me how you feel about this. About what I have just told you.

S: I don't know...it is all a bit sudden. I need to think about it.

P: But still you must have some initial reaction to it.

S: Well, yes I do...

P: So what is it? Out with it!

S: Are you sure you want to hear? And you won't mind whatever it is that I say to you?

P: No. I won't mind, tell me. I am strong enough on the inside.

S: Well, if you say so, sweety! I think it is a foolish idea.

P: What?

S: See, I told you you may not like it. Why are you pricking me?

P: Okay okay, I won't react, just go ahead and tell me why you think it is a foolish idea.

S: Well, for one, how will you survive out there? It is a big bad world out there, my dear! You need me.

P: Need you? Why?

S: Don't you see, there is danger out there. People with daggers, razor-sharp instruments ready to pounce upon you the moment you become vulnerable, the moment you begin to become dull.

P: I have been living with you so for long, you have your sharp teeth too, that razor-sharp blade of yours always ready to shape me into form.

S: Yes, but I do that out of love, my love for you, baby.

P: Love? Is that love?

S: Yes, do you have any doubt? Don't you see that the whole world thinks we are made for each other?

P: Well, the world says it because they are afraid of your sharp bite. And anyway, it is only "our" little world that says so. The big bad world, as you say it, out there doesn't care, we are nothing for them. I can very well manage without you, you know.

S: Even with those daggers, swords, blades out there!?!

P: No, not with them. On my own. But of course from time to time I might, I know I will need some help. But if I am strong enough and learn how to take care of myself, I can work with others as partners for the time being, and manage myself very well. Thank you very much!

S: Aha! So you are really hell bent on this "being on my own" thing. You have made up your mind?

P: Yes.

S: And what, may I ask, will you do out there "on your own"?

P: I will write.

S: What else can you do? That's the only thing you know.

P: But what else do I need to know? That's my thing, my dharma as they say!

S: And will you be taking up a job somewhere as a writer to make your ends meet?

P: I might, for some time. So what?

S: Wouldn't you be giving up a part of your "own" self when working for another?

P: That will be just to earn my bread. My other or bigger work will be for myself.

S: What other work?

P: To write my own story.

S: Ha....your own story? Who would want to read that?

P: Doesn't matter. But I need to write, write for myself.

S: Write for yourself....what notions you have!

P: You will not get it, you see. You are just...

S: I am just what? Say it...

P: You with your sharp teeth, your ever-readiness to bite me, to make me smaller....

S: Listen girl, I don't make you smaller, I make you fit for your work, your dharma as you say!

P: I know I know, you make me ready. But that's your work. Yes, your dharma! You don't do it for me, you do it for yourself, to fulfill the very purpose of your existence. Otherwise why is there any need for you at all? Nobody really needs you.

S: You do.

P: I do, because you are here. But if you weren't I can find other partners to help me get ready. It is I who is the real thing in this partnership that is going on between you and me. Not you. So get that straight, okay!

S: See, how edgy you have already become. That's because of my constant support to keep you fit and working. Otherwise how will you get all these big ideas about being on your own!?!

P: Whatever....I am not going to argue with you, I have made up my mind. And I am going to go. Out there, to find myself, as they say in all those books I have been marking.

S: Yes, you and your books and those markings! All those big big words!

P: Why are you jealous? Just because you are not really needed by me, is that it?

S: Whatever....

P: So that's it then. It is settled. I am getting out of our relationship, out of this confinement, and am ready to explore the world on my own. Ta-ta!

S: What? Right now? You are leaving me right now?

P: Right now is just as good a time as any. So why not now?

S: I know you can survive without me. It is I who needs to think what am I good for anymore.

P: I am sure you will figure something out. Like I did. When I realized that I needed to reinvent myself. To find my true purpose, as all those books say.

S: Aren't you forgetting something? Who will lead you, out there? You have always been an instrument, not the real doer of things. You are not the 'real' writer. You only assist.

P: You are right. But you are also not right.

S: What? How can both things be true at the same time?

P: They can. They can when the instrument realizes that she too is just as real as the real doer of things, the real writer. When the instrument becomes her real self, so to speak.

S: You and your big words! Must be all those big books you have been marking!

P: But don't you see? There is some great stuff in those big books as you call them. You should stop being so rigid and sharp-tongued and have some flexibility.

S: And how am I supposed to be flexible?

P: I don't know. But that is your problem, no? You should figure it out. Maybe sometimes one has to break oneself open completely in order to fully see oneself in all one's parts and pieces. Maybe there are some parts in you that you don't need anymore now that the world is changing so fast. Maybe you will find that only some parts of you are worth keeping, and maybe just maybe, there might be a new you as a result of all that breakage and reassembly.

S: There you go again...with all those big words from those big books....

P: Whatever....I am willing to do all that it takes to reinvent myself fully, to write my own story, even if it requires me to break myself fully open. If you don't want to reinvent yourself, I can't force you. I can only offer advice, that too because we have been together for so long. It is your choice to listen to it or not.

S: Well....Anyway, you better get going now...it is already nearing the time when the owner of this house comes knocking to look for that USB he left here yesterday. What a crackpot of a name it is - USB!

******

The above conversation between a sharpener called S and a pencil called P was recorded on a rainy night a few years ago, by a reliable micro-recorder hidden in the top drawer of a writer's desk. Ever since the writer had started doing all his work on the computer, the two ex-lovers S and P had been feeling unappreciated and unnecessary. This led P to some serious introspection, and she finally decided to move out of the confines of the desk and do her own thing. Write out her story. Reinvent herself.

"The Story of a Smartpen formerly known as P" will be out in the book-market soon.

And what happened to the poor, dejected fellow S, you ask? To find out, stay tuned!

Original image sourced from here

*****
This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda. The prompt this week is -- Stationery Chats.

Gratitude

Today this blog completes six months.

Today is the day to express Immense Gratitude:

To the Divine Mother whose Presence and Words are the inspiration for this blog.
To the Divine Master whose Guidance and Grace are the force behind this blog.
To all those regions from where the ideas and thoughts and feelings come.
To all those parts and planes of the being which facilitate reflection and integration.
To all those faculties within which help sieve, select, synthesize and express.
And,
To all those who click, read, motivate and encourage.

A BIG THANK YOU!

Ipomea Carnea, Pale pink Morning Glory

Spiritual Significance: Gratitude, It is you who open all the closed doors and allow the saving Grace to enter.

Source

Today is also the day to remind myself of why I do this blog: 

As as a humble offering to Her.
As a humble attempt to contemplate upon, live out, and express the following words:

"Let beauty be your constant ideal.

The beauty of the soul

The beauty of sentiments

The beauty of thoughts

The beauty of the action

The beauty in the work

so that nothing comes out of your hands which is not an expression of pure and harmonious beauty.

And the Divine Help shall always be with you." 

(The Mother)

Today is also the day to express a prayer:

May I always remember to 'Remember and Offer'. 

May I always remember to reflect deeply on all that appears on this blog.

May I always remember to assess deeply before anything gets expressed on this blog.

May I always remember to see all this as:

a means to progress, 

a means to become more open and receptive to Her Force.

a means to grow in gratitude and humility.

a means to seek and express deeper delight in all life and work.

So, What are You Working on?

A new post in the series - Satyam Shivam Sundaram

A series featuring inspiring words from various sources, words that speak of  timeless truths, words that remind me of the deeper and hidden truth behind surface events and phenomena, words that shine light when all seems dark, words that are just what I need - 

for this moment and for all times to come.

Early Study. Painting by The Mother, 1895. Oil on canvas

“In work too there is an austerity. It consists in not having any preferences and in doing everything one does with interest. For one who wants to grow in self-perfection, there are no great or small tasks, none that are important or unimportant; all are equally useful for one who aspires for progress and 

self-mastery.” 

~ The Mother, Four Austerities and Four Liberations

Imagine living this ideal. What a complete contrast with the typical things we often hear ourselves and others saying –- “oh, I really don’t care for my job, it is so boring, so mundane... I want to do something that is meaningful, that satisfies me, that makes me happy…etc. etc…”

What do we know about what we are really supposed to be doing, especially when we don’t really know who we truly are and what is our true nature? And still we keep looking for that perfect work that will make us happy? Happiness has nothing to do with the real, true Delight we should be seeking…which is not dependent on any one particular type of work…it should be there in all that we do.

But how, oh how, do we tread the long path… By doing…by practice, by aspiring, by rejecting, by surrendering…But this big “I” and its demands and preferences keep coming in…oh god!

***

Previous posts in this series:

Inner Truth of a Flower       On Sensitivity and Appreciation of Beauty     

"No Construction Without Destruction"

Prayer, Aspiration and Faith

Bamboo branches and palm leaves swaying gently in the tropical breeze outside... the sounds of the dancing branches naturally mingling with the chirping sounds of some birds, an occasional hiss from some insect in the garden, and the soothing sound from a very special wind-chime near the window…

Can this spot near my bedroom window be my temple today?

On the occasion of Ram-Navami, the birth of Sri Rama, I re-read today some of the words of the Mother on prayer and aspiration.

Am I praying today? Am I aspiring? What is the difference?

Prayer: Self-giving is true prayer.

(Botanical name: Zephyranthes; Common names: Zephyr flower, Fairy lily, Rain lily)

Photo credit

Growing up with devout and religious-minded parents, I used to often wonder whether I should be praying to the God asking for something specific, or whether I should call for guidance, help, light, direction, or whether that moment should simply be a state of wordless, quiet feeling. As far back as I can recall my childhood and growing up years, every time I was standing in front of a deity in a temple or even at the small altar in our home, my prayer (if that can be called a prayer) took the form of something like – “Oh god, do what you feel is best. Give me what is best for me. Give me peace.” I can’t remember asking for something specific – like fulfilling whatever wish I may be holding on to in my heart at that time. I have found it particularly difficult to ask for a specific thing when I have always felt that the Divine knows everything I am thinking or wishing, knows what is needful for me, and will give me what is most necessary for me. [I can’t say with absolute certainty that I have never prayed for anything specific, as I write this I can indeed remember a few specific occasions when I did that. But generally speaking, that was not the case.] Sometimes my prayers would become less egoistic and more about asking for the best for all, asking for a wider peace. Did I ever reflect upon who all are included in my definition of ‘all’? Can’t remember.

But I do remember some conversations with my parents during childhood about this topic – should one ask God for something specific or should one pray more generally? One view would be that if God is same as your parent, and we ask for specific things from our parents all the time, then why not ask God for specific requests. Another view would be that if God knows all and everything (and can not only see the innermost beings of all but is in fact is That Innermost Being), then surely God also knows what we want, so there is no need to ask for anything specific. Of course, we may want one thing, but God also knows what it is that we need. So it may be better to not ask for whatever it is that we think we want, but let God decide for us what it is that we should be given. Aah…the philosophizing minds of children, and the parents’ indulgence with these innocent queries!!

Aspiration: Innumerable, obstinate, repeating itself tirelessly. 
(Botanical name: Nyctanthes arbor-tristis; Common names: Night jasmine, Parijat, Harsingar, Coral Jasmine, Tree of sadness) Photo: From my garden

The Mother’s words about the difference between prayer and aspiration make one thing very clear. Prayer requires a faith in the Divine Being, while an aspiration does not necessarily require that. One can aspire for a state of being, for progress, for a state of consciousness even without having a belief or faith in a personal deity or a Personal God. At the same time though, I feel aspiration also requires a faith in the ideal that a different state of being, a different level of consciousness is possible, reachable. It is towards that that one aspires. Faith is in both cases fundamental. One can’t aspire towards something if one does not feel inwardly that That is indeed something which exists.

So back to the question – Am I praying today? Am I aspiring? Do I have the Faith that is the need of the hour?

Perhaps a bit more of quiet time near the window will help…

Faith: You flame up and triumph.

(Botanical name: Hibiscus rosa-sinensis; Common names: Chinese hibiscus, Hawaiian hibiscus, Rose-of-China) 

Photo credit

Aspiration

We can, simply by a sincere aspiration, open a sealed door in us and find...that Something which will change the whole significance of life, reply to all our questions, solve all our problems and lead us to the perfection we aspire for without knowing it, to that reality which alone can satisfy us and give us lasting joy, equilibrium, strength, life. (The Mother)

Faith

Faith is certainly a gift given to us by the Divine Grace. It is like a door that suddenly opens upon an eternal truth, a door through which we can see it, almost touch it....In the ignorance and darkness of the beginning, faith is the most direct expression of the Divine Power which comes to fight and conquer. (The Mother)

Prayer

Flowers are the prayers of the vegetal kingdom. (The Mother)

Prayer is only a particular form given to ... will, aspiration and faith. ... Its power and sense is to put the will, aspiration and faith of man into touch with the divine Will as that of a conscious Being with whom we can enter into conscious and living relations. ... In spiritual matters and in the seeking of spiritual gains, this conscious relation is a great power; it is a much greater power than our own entirely self-reliant struggle and effort and it brings a fuller spiritual growth and experience. (Sri Aurobindo)