Forgetting and Remembering

A new post in the series - Reminders to self

Sometimes going through one's old writings, journals, diaries can be an incredibly learning experience. It makes one recall and perhaps even renew for oneself the insight, the wisdom of the moment that had expressed itself in those words from years ago.

Often there is a definite reason why one is led to a particular old scribbling. Perhaps it is time to remember something important, really remember. Perhaps it is time to re-dedicate oneself. Perhaps one needs a reminder. A reminder to remember.

Sometimes old scribblings take on new forms. Not necessarily because the writer has grown wiser, but more because the writer is seeking a greater clarity inside. This seeking is also a reminder. A reminder to not forget to seek.

A newer outer form also becomes a reminder. A reminder to remember and offer.

"Although his ego claims the world for its use,
Man is a dynamo for the cosmic work;
Nature does most in him, God the high rest:
Only his soul’s acceptance is his own."

In our egoistic journeys through life, as we go through various trials and tribulations, ups and downs, we generally forget that we are constantly being protected, pushed, guided and led by powers and forces beyond us, beyond our highest intellectual capabilities that we normally use to govern our lives, our choices and decisions. We may call these higher powers or forces by any name. We may call it the Divine.

In our ignorant intellectual debates on free will and destiny, we forget that in the ultimate analysis we are only instruments of a Cosmic Plan, and though blessed with a free will we have been put here on this earth to fulfil a tiny little part of His Grand Goal. We forget that we are here to manifest in our small ways His Divine Will, to play our little part in His Lila.

"Often our thoughts are finished cosmic wares
Admitted by a silent office gate
And passed through the subconscient’s galleries,
Then issued in Time’s mart as private make.
For now they bear the living person’s stamp;
A trick, a special hue claims them his own.
All else is Nature’s craft and this too hers.
Our tasks are given, we are but instruments;
Nothing is all our own that we create:
The Power that acts in us is not our force."

We forget, therefore we have to remember.

Because we are steeped in the Ignorance of our lower nature, enslaved by the prison of our physical-vital-mental selves, we forget that we are not really doing anything that we think we are doing. So we have to remember that even in our blind ignorance it is the Nature's Will manifesting itself through the outward actions being done through our hands and minds. We forget that we only have a responsibility for our actions and no claim on their outcome.

"Even Nature’s ignorance is Truth’s instrument;
Our struggling ego cannot change her course:
Yet is it a conscious power that moves in us,
A seed-idea is parent of our acts
And destiny the unrecognised child of Will.
Infallibly by Truth’s directing gaze
All creatures here their secret self disclose,
Forced to become what in themselves they hide.
For He who Is grows manifest in the years
And the slow Godhead shut within the cell
Climbs from the plasm to immortality.
But hidden, but denied to mortal grasp,
Mystic, ineffable is the spirit’s truth,
Unspoken, caught only by the spirit’s eye.
When naked of ego and mind it hears the Voice;
It looks through light to ever greater light
And sees Eternity ensphering Life."

We forget all this and that's why we are quick to take all the credit for the success of our actions and put all the blame on to the Divine or Nature if there is failure (or cry about our Bad Luck!). So we have to remember and offer all work to the Divine with no concern whatsoever for the outcome. We know we must do this, but still we don’t, we can’t.

We don’t do it because we forget.

We forget that all this is Hers, so we have to remember to offer it all to Her. We forget that we are only children of Hers struggling in Ignorance, so we have to remember that only Her Force and Her Grace can help us crawl out of this Ignorance and show us the Light.

"All stumbled on behind a stumbling Guide,
Yet every stumble is a needed pace
On unknown routes to an unknowable goal.
All blundered and straggled towards the One Divine."

Perhaps there is a deeper necessity for this forgetfulness because all is part of the Divine Plan.

"This world was not built with random bricks of Chance,
A blind god is not destiny’s architect;
A conscious power has drawn the plan of life,
There is meaning in each curve and line."

We are perhaps led to this forgetfulness so we may focus on the external world and all the actions that we must pursue. It is this action in the outer world that allows us to manifest and express outwardly what we may have experienced as part of an inward growth, whatever little that may be.

"This world is God fulfilled in outwardness."

Without the outward action we may not be able to translate any inner change into a concrete and sustained transformation. Without a reasonable dose of forgetfulness we may not be fully immersed in the outward action; without such an immersion an identification with the task may not be there and without which the task may not become a natural expression or outpouring of whatever part in us that has begun the journey of a deeper, wider and upward progress.

In the ultimate analysis, this simultaneous inner and outer journey is what helps us correct the multiple defects of the different parts of our physical-vital-mental nature. Only this can over time lead to a dynamic change of our outer nature which is essential for our evolutionary process. And for the purpose of our individual growth, this ‘back and forth’ between the outward external action and an inward redirecting of energies is what keeps us ‘testing’ for ourselves whether we are really changing. And for that we are given this experience of forgetfulness.

But we must remember that we are also given the ability to remember. We are given this because we must remember what we forget. It is this remembrance that takes us back inward. To the inner chambers where all journey is supposed to take us.

And yet we forget to remember, we forget to offer. We forget and we keep forgetting it more and more in our forgetfulness. It is as if we are lost in our own forgetfulness. The journey is long, but it begins as all journeys begin, with the first step. And that first step is remembrance.

Remember and Offer.

Verses from Savitri by Sri Aurobindo

Photos by Suhas Mehra

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To see previous post in the series, Reminders to self, click here.

To see all posts in the series, click here.

Quote UnQuote 2: Sleep

“I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know?” 

― Ernest Hemingway

Who doesn’t love sleep? All is well when one’s asleep. Wake up and you may discover there’s more to life than endless-entertainment-shopping-twitter-timepass-cappuccino-gourmet-brands-gossip-holidaying-more-more-more. Who wants any messy stuff beyond all this?

Waking up is serious work. All cherished notions of life, happiness, success, relationships, love, everything fall apart. Pain, disorientation, not-knowing and more, all are part of waking up. Everything has to be seen anew, experienced afresh. So everything can be put back, piece-by-piece, in a new light of an inner dawn.

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This is the second of the three-day-quote-challenge posts in which I was tagged by Rachna. I have added an additional layer to the challenge by limiting my commentary on the selected quote to only 100 words. And you know how difficult that can be for someone like me, don't you?

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Quote UnQuote 1: Death

Rachna, the rachnakar (creator) of the popular blogs Rachnasays and Rachnacooks tagged me in the three-day quote challenge. I had been unsure how to do this because most of my posts already have some quote in them (often a long one, and sometimes a passage actually). To be honest, I would have probably skipped the challenge if it were not for the warm and affectionate Rachna!

Then I thought why not do something that I haven't done in a while. That is, be brief. And yet stay close to the spirit of this blog. So I am going to write only 100-word posts as part of this quote-a-day challenge. Now that will be a challenge for the brevity-challenged me, I think! Just to clarify, this preface and the quote itself will not be counted in the 100 words :)

So without much ado, here I go, with the first post today.

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"This wallpaper is killing me. One of us has to go." 

These are reported as Oscar Wilde's last words on his deathbed.

Nobody else could have said this! Wilde knew the real effect of real beauty on mind, heart and soul. His thoughts, words, wit are proof enough. His fashion sense too for those interested in only outer beauty!

But there’s more to these words. They make you think about the last thing you’d like to see before closing your eyes. For ever. Or maybe every night till then. Or tonight.

What is it? An object? A face? A vision? Something indescribable, perhaps?

Why not visualize tonight? Conscious death takes preparation.

X is Ten, Ten Lessons Over A Fortnight

A new post in the series - Reminders to self

Writing after a two-week-long break from this blog. Part of this break was because of being occupied with other things such as life and living. But part of it was also because I didn't want to write about things that were bothering me about some aspects of this whole thing called blogging. 

When I started this blog I had promised myself that I will NOT use this space to rant or vent about things. There is a whole lot of that happening elsewhere on the net, I didn't and don't want to add to that noise. As I begin this post I truly and sincerely hope it doesn't become a rant. 

So why am I bothering with this post, one may ask? Because I DO want to write about what I have learned for myself during this self-imposed break, especially with regard to how I want to approach this work of writing for my blog.

I have learned that: 

• I will not let others' behaviour, no matter how hurtful, come in the way of my pursuit of the deeper purpose why I started this blog in the first place. 
• I will not allow others' plainly obvious and blatant discrimination and disapproval to bother me in any way. 
• I will not be bothered by the fact that some of my views, positions and opinions, particularly on social-political-cultural matters, that I express in some of my posts on this blog or via other updates I share/post on social media might make some fellow bloggers uncomfortable. 
• Having once experienced a gag on my freedom of expression I am even more firm in my decision to write about topics, issues that I consider important no matter how politically incorrect or controversial they may seem to others, particularly fellow bloggers. 
• I will not give in to the temptation of writing about what I consider mundane and superfluous stuff, just to get more readership and views.
• I will try with all sincerity not to be inwardly moved by any words (expressed or un-expressed) of praise or disdain.
• I will try to constantly watch over the effect of others' actions on my ego and sincerely attempt to walk away from my egoistic reactions. 
• I will choose quality over quantity.
• I will keep reminding myself about why I should write.
• I will try with all sincerity to keep an inner poise of prayer and aspiration to help me remember these lessons every time I write and publish a post.

Not all these lessons are newly acquired, some have been picked up over the last 2 years as I gradually became more aware of the "tips and tricks" or the "do's and don'ts" of this world of blogging. 

Photo: Parul Kashyap Thakur

But what is new for me is the way all these lessons became more living as a result of some recent observations, experiences (real or perceived - same difference?). To be more truthful, what made me acutely aware of these lessons once again was the growing awareness of my egoistic reactions and responses to some observations and experiences. That created a disturbing dissonance within which not only compelled me to take a short break from blogging but also made me ponder upon what I needed to do to bring greater light into this dark place called writer's ego. Most importantly, the newness of these Ten Lessons is in the meta-lesson to which they lead me today.

These Ten Lessons basically point to one simple truth I want to practice as part of my writing work. That of "writing as a yogic practice." This is a practice which, I believe, will help me work on developing greater equanimity, greater sense of detachment, and most importantly greater aspiration to seek inner progress through the outer work called writing. 

This writing-as-yoga practice requires me to make all possible and sincere efforts in becoming a more honest, authentic and true writer, expressing truth only for the sake of truth; nothing more, nothing less. Truth as I feel it in the moment, as I see it, experience it, perceive it. No gimmicks, no stylizing, no obfuscating. 

At the same time this practice also requires that I become more mindful of when I should not write and what I should not write. No matter how strong the pull (push?) of the ego is to speak it all out, writing-as-yoga requires one to know when to stay silent.

"All Life is Yoga" (Sri Aurobindo)

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To see previous Reminder to self, click here.

To see all Reminders to self, click here.

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Linking with Blog-A-Rhythm's Wordy Wednesday

Linking with ABCWednesday, X: X is Ten

Of Vibrations, Victories and Changing the World

A new post in the series - Satyam Shivam Sundaram

A series featuring inspiring words from various sources, words that speak of timeless truths, words that remind me of the deeper and hidden truth behind surface events and phenomena, words that shine light when all seems dark, words that are just what I need - for this moment and for all times to come.

Source

The world is full of innumerable problems. Anywhere we turn, we see suffering, wars, destruction, disease, disasters, environmental threats, natural resource depletion. So many things that often overwhelm us because we don't know what we, individually can do about any of these.

People love to quote - Be the change you wish to see in the world. But what does it really mean? Surely each one of us can do a little something to make the world a better place. For instance, as I said in my previous post, even by becoming more mindful of our consumption patterns we can add our tiny little bit for the good of the environment.

But is there something more we can do, in addition to changing our outer actions or behaviour? Something on a deeper, more fundamental level? On the level of human nature itself? On the level of our own nature? 

The other day while doing some research I was drawn to the following passage from Volume 5 of the Collected Works of the Mother. The power of the vibration of goodwill, the power of an absolutely sincere effort to gain a victory on some little imperfection of our nature, the power of this seemingly small but incredibly difficult work we must do if we want to really make a meaningful difference in the world around us.

Can one help the world with a vibration of goodwill?

With good wishes one can change many things, only it must be an extremely pure and unmixed goodwill. It is quite obvious that a thought, a perfectly pure and true prayer, if it is sent forth into the world, does its work. But where is this perfectly pure and true thought when it passes into the human brain? There are degradations.

If through an effort of inner consciousness and knowledge, you can truly overcome in yourself a desire, that is to say, dissolve and abolish it, and if through inner goodwill, through consciousness, light, knowledge, you are able to dissolve the desire, you will be, first of all in yourself personally, a hundred times happier than if you had satisfied this desire, and then it will have a marvellous effect. It will have a repercussion in the world of which you have no idea. It will spread forth. For the vibrations you have created will continue to spread. These things grow larger like the snowball.

The victory you win in your character, however small it be, is one which can be gained in the whole world. And it is this I meant just now: all things which are done outwardly without changing the inner nature—hospitals,schools,etc.—are done through vanity, for the feeling of being great, whilst these small unnoticed things overcome in oneself gain an infinitely greater victory, though the effects are hidden. Every movement in you which is false and opposed to the truth is a negation of the divine life.

Your small efforts have considerable results which you don’t even have the satisfaction of knowing, but which are true and have precisely an impersonal and general effect. If you really want to do something good, the best thing you can do is to win your small victories in all sincerity, one after another, and thus you will do for the world the maximum you are able to. 

Will our victory act for the whole world?

It will not change the whole world. For your victory is too small for the whole world. Millions of such victories are needed. It is a very small victory if compared with the whole. But it gets mingled with other things.... It could be said that it is like bringing into the world the capacity of doing a thing.

But for this to act effectively, at times centuries are necessary; it is a question of proportion. You can try it out (and it is much more difficult) even with those around you. You must be absolutely sincere, not do it with the idea of getting a result, but because you want to gain a victory. If you gain it, it will necessarily have an effect on those around you.

But if a bargaining element is mixed up in it, if you do this thing because you want to get that other: “I want to overcome my defects, but that person must also overcome his”, then that doesn’t work. It is a merchant’s attitude: “I give this, but I shall take that.” That spoils everything. There is neither sincerity nor purity. It is bargaining. Nothing must be mixed with your sincerity, your aspiration, your motive. You do things for love of the Divine, for truth, for perfection, without any other motive, any other idea. And that brings results.

CWM, Vol. 5, pp. 19-20

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To see previous post in the series, Satyam Shivam Sundaram, click here.
To see all posts in the series, click here.

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Linking this with ABC Wednesday: V, V is for Vibration, Victory 

Buy Less, Be an Environmentalist

A new post in the series - Reminders to self

June 5, World Environment Day

Some people plant trees in their neighbourhoods. Some people go on nature walks. Some people clean up the local rivers and lakes. Some people start a campaign to make their cities greener. All noble efforts, all important initiatives.

World Environment Day is also a day when....

...we must question our consumption habits,
...we must reflect upon our purchasing patterns,
...we must ponder upon the impact of our consumerist lifestyle on the environment.

Source

Let us be honest. Do we worry about how our consumption patterns and spending habits impact the environment? What happens to all the stuff we discard when we buy new stuff? What happens to all the plastic packaging that we end up adding to the garbage dumps every time we purchase a new product? From where are all the natural and energy resources coming to manufacture all the goods we keep on purchasing? What about the fuel costs to ship the products all the way from China, Philippines, Malaysia or wherever else these products are being manufactured? What about.....what about....so many questions to ponder upon when we start on this path of reflection.

But the key question remains -- Why do we keep buying? Do we really need all the things we buy? Or are we just buying to satisfy some desires, some wants in the hope that acquiring more things will bring us happiness? Do we know how to carefully discern between what is really a need and what is a desire when we enter a store or step into a shopping mall?

Like everyone else living in this age dictated by the two mighty trends of consumerism and commercialism, I also struggle with this dilemma of how to buy exactly what I need, and how to control the urge to possess and acquire more and more?

A personal seeking to become more self-aware and a quest to understand the larger societal trends gradually led me to explore in greater depth the topic of growing commercialism and consumerism in India. I became interested to look into different dimensions and aspects of this issue, all of which eventually took the form of an essay titled, "Commercialism and Consumerism in Today's India," included in my recently released ebook - The Thinking Indian: Essays on Indian Socio-Cultural Matters in the Light of Sri Aurobindo.

On this World Environment Day, I take the opportunity to share below two brief excerpts from the essay. One of these also includes some powerful words from the Mother to help us develop a sense of discernment, an ability to distinguish between what we really need and what we can do without.

[But before going to the excerpts, I wish to add a disclaimer here. Trust me, I am not advocating an ascetic lifestyle or a giving up of all the creature comforts that we have all become so used to. All I am suggesting is that we slowly become more mindful of what and how much we consume, and why. This is the least we can do for our Mother Earth -- to remind ourselves of becoming more mindful, on this World Environment Day and all the days to come. Is it easy enough to do? Each one has to find the answer within. But perhaps it is one of the most effective ways to begin to express our love for our planet, our mother earth.]

Begin Quote

What can you or I do individually to grow beyond our identities as consumers and commercial beings? I am reminded of a statement I read a few years ago—“Capitalism can only utilize certain feelings for its own purposes; it cannot create them” (Varma, V. P., The Political Philosophy of Sri Aurobindo, 1960/1990, p. 192).

When I first read it, I said to myself—how simply he presents a really deep and complex idea! We generally like to blame American or Western style capitalism—I have done it so many times myself—for many of the economic woes of developing countries like India. But then the very human feelings (frailties is a much better word, perhaps) of possession, acquisition, greed for wealth, power to exploit and extract from those that are weaker than us, etc. are so easily ignored in our incomplete analysis of how to make the world better.

We don’t want to objectively examine and accept these frailties and work towards a deeper transformation of our individual nature. Why? Because that is such a hard work, it almost seems impossible. But then a part of us always knows that nothing else would ever work, it hasn’t. This is true for everyone, everywhere. 

........

Let each one of us look deep into ourselves and determine how much are we responsible for this rampant commercialism and consumerist culture, how much do we want to move beyond this age, and what, if anything, are we doing in that direction. This is the only way out.

This brings us to an important, perhaps the most important, issue—how should we deal with our desires to possess and acquire material things. This, in turn, also compels us to examine the difference between material needs and desires. The Mother has explained this point beautifully in one of her talks in 1951. If one is in a state of total indifference or detachment about what one has and doesn’t have, and if one is quite sincere, that which is a need will be automatically fulfilled. At a second level we see situations when “one is preoccupied with one’s needs, if one thinks of them, tells oneself, “Truly I must have this”, it is not often that it comes to you; so you are obliged to do something to satisfy yourself and, if you have the means, to go and buy the thing.” But the problem begins to get serious because there are people, forming the great majority, “who always take their desires for their needs….They are convinced that without this or that one cannot live...” (CWM, Vol. 4, p. 383).

The Mother has given us a very simple experiment as an exercise to help us understand the hold of such desires on our minds. She tells us, “The first step for these people is to try a small experiment (if they are sincere): “Well, I won’t have this thing and we are going to see what happens.” This is a very interesting experiment. And I can guarantee that 999 times out of a thousand, after a few days one asks oneself, “But why the devil did I think I had such a great need of this thing, I can do without it very well!” There you are. And like this, little by little, one makes progress” (p. 384). She further adds,

"It is a question of training—educating oneself. The sooner one begins, the easier it is. When one begins very young, it becomes very easy, for one gets accustomed to one’s inner reactions and so can act with wisdom and discernment—whereas for those who are accustomed from their childhood to take all their desires for needs or necessities, and have rushed into them with passionate zeal, the road is much more difficult, because first they must acquire discernment and distinguish a desire from what it is not; and sometimes this is very difficult, it is so mixed up that it can hardly be perceived." (ibid)

 End Quote

To purchase the ebook, click here.

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To see the previous post in the series, Reminders to self, click here.
To see all Reminders to self, click here.

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To see the post written last year for the #worldenvironmentday, click here.

#WED2015

Do We Know We Aren't Really Thinking?

A new post in the series - Satyam Shivam Sundaram

A series featuring inspiring words from various sources, words that speak of timeless truths, words that remind me of the deeper and hidden truth behind surface events and phenomena, words that shine light when all seems dark, words that are just what I need - for this moment and for all times to come.

Prologue: 

This post is partly inspired by an interesting Facebook status update by Suresh Chandrasekaran who blogs here.

It is also partly inspired by a sense of unease I am beginning to experience when I read some of the stuff that appears in the mainstream media discourse. Some of which is then spilled out onto the social media. And the cycle of non-thinking continues. I first wrote about some of that unease here. But I wanted to go a bit deeper into some of the real reasons for why we aren't thinking. This post helps me do that.

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I remember when I was in school and my mother when helping me with my studies, especially during the exam preparation days, would often say: 


- बुद्धि का इस्तेमाल करना सीखो, बिना सोचे समझे जवाब मत दो, पहले कई बार ठंडे दिमाग़ से सोचो, बुद्धि से काम लो , और फ़िर जवाब दो।

- Learn how to use your intellect, don't answer without thinking properly, first think deeply with a cool mind, think many times, use your sense of discerning intellect and then answer.


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Sound advice, very sound I would say. Mothers know best! Don't they?

But we don't always follow our mother's wise advice, do we?

How often we tend to forget this sound advice in our rush to answer something that is asked of us? In our rush to express our view, our opinion. I am guilty of doing that more times than I would like to admit. I am guilty of rushing to form an opinion without thinking through the various sides of the issue, without digging into the details, without remembering that an opinion is just that -- an opinion, not the truth, perhaps not even a truth. This happens both in our personal interactions in our narrow domains as well as in the wider context when we are engaging with larger issues related to our communities, societies, nations and the world.

Perhaps this tendency to form an opinion without thinking is exaggerated today thanks to the 24x7 information-overload we all experience through mass media and social media. But perhaps there is a bigger reason for why we don't really think properly, why we believe we are thinking when we really are only experiencing thought-sensations.

It seems to me that most of us aren't even aware that we are not really thinking when we believe we are. It is perhaps because we don't know how our mind works. We don't know what it takes to truly think without allowing any interference from other parts of ourselves. For the most part we don't even know what those other parts are, parts which have a tendency to interfere and influence our thinking process.

The mass of humanity has not risen beyond the bodily needs, the vital desires, the emotions and the current of thought sensations created by these lower strata. This current of thought sensations is called in Hindu philosophy the manas or mind, it is the highest to which all but a few of the animals can rise, and it is the highest function that the mass of mankind has thoroughly perfected.

Beyond the manas is the buddhi, or thought proper, which, when perfected, is independent of the desires, the claims of the body and the interference of the emotions. But only a minority of men have developed this organ, much less perfected it.

Only great thinkers in their hours of thought are able to use this organ independently of the lower strata, and even they are besieged by the latter in their ordinary life and their best thought suffers continually from these lower intrusions. Only developed Yogins have a viśuddha-buddhi, a thought-organ cleared of the interference of the lower strata by cittaśuddhi or purification of the citta, the mind-stuff, from the prāṇa full of animal, vital and emotional disturbances. With most men the buddhi is full of manas and the manas of the lower strata.

The majority of mankind do not think, they have only thought-sensations; a large minority think confusedly, mixing up desires, predilections, passions, prejudgments, old associations and prejudices with pure and disinterested thought. Only a few, the rare aristocrats of the earth, can really and truly think. That is now the true aristocracy, not the aristocracy of the body and birth, not the aristocracy of vital superiority, wealth, pride and luxury, not the aristocracy of higher emotions, courage, energy, successful political instinct and the habit of mastery and rule,— though these latter cannot be neglected,— but the aristocracy of knowledge, undisturbed insight and intellectual ability. It emerges, though it has not yet emerged, and in any future arrangement of human society this natural inequality will play an important part. 

~ Sri Aurobindo, CWSA, Vol. 1, pp. 435-436
(Emphasis added)

Image source: Wikipedia Commons

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To see the previous post in the series, click here.

To see all the posts in the series, click here.

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Linking this with ABC Wednesday, K: K is for Know

Two Lazy Mornings and A Way to Be More Conscious

A new post in the series - "All Music is Only the Sound of His Laughter"

Photo by Narayan Dravid

On a lazy morning last week I felt this deep urge to listen to some music of the legendary Ustad Amir Khan. After quickly going through a small list, I zeroed in on two pieces -- one Rāg Malkauns and one Rāg Bairagi. 

I don't know why, at least I am not yet fully aware of the real reason why I felt this deep need to hear this music. But I kept listening to these two pieces one after the other, for almost the whole day from late morning till about 5pm in the evening. For some part of that day I got occupied with a few minor tasks -- eating lunch, answering a few phone calls and a couple of doorbells (and the music was playing in the background). But other than that I did nothing except immerse myself in the music.

However, there was only one specific instance during the day when I felt very, very quiet after listening to the music. Perhaps it was because only during that particular instance I was consciously allowing the music to become a part of me, part of my inner space. Perhaps it was because only during that particular instance I truly became conscious of the act of listening, listening that silences you. 

Why am I reflecting on this experience today? 

Because in going through some of my computer files today I came across a piece of writing from several years ago. A piece of writing in which I had tried to explore the essential difference between "self-reflection" and "becoming conscious." And somehow re-reading that piece today reminded me of the experience from last week. The experience of consciously listening to the divine music of Ustad Amir Khan. And the experience of reflecting on that experience today.

The two things came together, as if to help me re-learn a lesson that everything can be learned again. 

So what was that piece of writing from a lazy morning several years ago? I paste it below.

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I find myself pondering upon the essential difference between two word-phrases we often hear these days, what with the ever-growing popularity of a-religious spirituality – the ideas of “self-reflection” and the idea of “becoming conscious.” 

Checking in the dictionary, I find the following meanings for “self-reflection” – self-examination; careful reflection on your own thoughts, beliefs, behavior, and circumstances (Encarta). 

“Reflection” – careful thought, especially the process of reconsidering previous actions, events, or decisions. 

And “to be conscious” means – awake and responsive to stimuli; aware of something and attaching importance to it; considered and deliberate, or done with critical awareness; concerned with or relating to a part of the mind that is capable of thinking, choosing, or perceiving; the part of the human mind that is aware of the feelings, thoughts, and surroundings. 

It seems that when we reflect on our thoughts, beliefs, behavior, etc. we do so most of the time using the same very parts of our mind that generate these thoughts, feelings, perceptions. But to be conscious might involve self-reflection PLUS moving to a way of knowing ourselves – our thoughts, feelings, responses, movements and their causes etc. – that doesn’t necessarily rely on mind or at least not only on the ordinary mental data-driven ways of knowing. 

Self-reflection may not necessarily help us move out of the realm of our thoughts, beliefs, mental opinions etc. because by such an exercise we may be exclusively focusing our attention only to such mental movements within us, and that too after the thought or feeling has arisen within us or after the circumstance or event has taken place. 

But the idea of becoming conscious may involve becoming aware of and “awake” (this is a key difference perhaps) to the various movements within us and being in the know of where in us these movements may be generated, how they may be generated, and perhaps then what may be done to take control of and master these movements. The emphasis here is to be awake to the movement and its origins while it is happening. 

Perhaps by practicing self-reflection one does begin to get some practice in becoming conscious, but that may not always be the case. 

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Today after reading this old piece of writing I went back to the music of Ustad Amir Khan. And after silently listening to Rāg Bairagi, I was inspired to write this.

What generally helps many of us become more conscious is when we are able to quiet down some of the incessant and extraneous noises that fill up our inner spaces. Because only in that quietude we may gradually become more aware of and awakened to the various pulls and pushes of the different parts of our being (our mental-emotinal-physical parts). 

Music has the ability to help us quieten down, but only if we know how to listen to music. 

 "...the best way of listening is this. It is to be like a still mirror and very concentrated, very silent. In fact, we see people who truly love music... I have seen musicians listening to music, musicians, composers or players who truly love music, I have seen them listening to music... they sit completely still, you know, they are like that, they do not move at all. Everything, everything is like that. And if one can stop thinking, then it is very good, then one profits fully... it is one of the methods of inner opening and one of the most powerful." (The Mother)

And now for the interested reader, here is one of the pieces of music that I refer to in this post. Listen to it, quietly. Very, very quietly. 

Ustad Amir Khan 

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To read the previous post in the series, click here.
To read all the posts in the series, click here.

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Linking this with Blog-a-rhythm Word Wednesday #7, word prompt: Essential

Difficult Decisions

A new post in the series - Reminders to self

Photo by Hengki Koentjoro

This morning my husband and I had a long talk with our gardener. About five trees in our garden. We had similar talks before but without much seriousness. Today we had to come to a serious decision. Mindfully, carefully thought out decision.

You see, our garden space is actually quite narrow, and the previous owners of the house had planted several trees while the house was being built. Some of these trees were perhaps not really planted with much careful thought, especially not with a consideration of the fact that trees grow big and bigger. As much as we are grateful for the fact that we have a nice green space in our home which is a great source of joy and beauty, we are also beginning to get concerned about the location of these trees.

They are planted too close to the boundary wall, in fact the trunks of two neem trees are already beginning to cause some cracks in the wall. There is a very tall teak tree with its beautiful trunk, but it has become too big for its place and is really leaning heavily on the boundary wall. There is also one part of a flowering oleander tree which is beginning to look worrisome. And then there is a big palm tree with a heavy root system planted very close to one of outer walls of the house itself.

The solution has to be drastic. Just a few months ago also we had been through a lot of drastic action in the garden (read about that here). And now this.

A part of my heart cries when I think of what will be happening in my little garden in a few days.

But I have already started thinking about what I will be planting in the places left vacant. Of course, no trees that tend to grow big and bigger. Plus I take comfort in the thought that we may still be able to save part of the oleander tree. I also plan to save as much of the wood from the trunks as possible and use the log pieces to make stands for potted plants.

There is however a part of me that can't come to terms with what I am about to witness. It has taken me a long time to be convinced of what must be done. Ever since moving into this house more than three years ago, we knew this time would come sooner or later. And we had been somewhat preparing in advance by carefully doing some planting of smaller trees, vines and bushes which will eventually fill up those corners left behind by the big trees.

But still it hurts.

My thought goes to all the trees that have been removed from the face of the earth because we, the people needed to build roads, buildings, flyovers, bridges, houses etc. My thought goes to all the trees that had to be cut down because we, the people needed nice looking furniture and floors. And paper. And more paper.

My thought goes to all the trees that were cut down simply because we didn't know better.

Am I being hypocritical here? Here I am thinking about all those trees that have been cut down from times immemorial and those that are being cut down as I write this. And yet soon I myself will add a few more to the total count of the 'cut down' trees.

I can persuade myself by words such as -- my situation is different, I have no choice, I can't let these trees cause damage to the house. I can also arrogantly think to myself -- didn't I do my bit for the trees by buying all the refurbished second-hand wooden furniture for my home instead of buying new? Don't I recycle? Don't I do composting? Etc etc....I can do all these things to feel comfortable with my decision. But I should not.

I don't know what I am feeling really. Maybe I don't want to know. Because a part of my heart is still crying. Only one thought comes to mind -- Compassion for our Mother Earth. When will we begin to practice that?

Maybe we can begin to practice by consuming less. Less paper, less plastic, less electricity, less petrol, less water. Less things.

Maybe we can begin to practice by being kind to all things around. By gradually becoming mindful of the material world around us.

Maybe we can begin to practice by creating green spaces, even if they are small balcony gardens. Or indoor gardens with a few potted plants.

Maybe we can begin to practice by planning our little green spaces more thoughtfully, more consciously. So we don't have to make some difficult decisions few years down the road.

Yes, that's the lesson I am learning today. Being more mindful, being more thoughtful, being more considerate. Because true and sincere compassion requires mindfulness, awareness and humility. It requires that we be non-judgmental and non-arrogant.

Not easy things to do. Especially when we are so used to thinking that we know what is best for the world and for everyone else in the world. Especially when we are so used to forgetting that there is a force much higher than our very limited intelligence which is leading the world to a higher harmony, much higher than we can ever conceive or imagine, despite or through all the chaos and destruction and turmoil we see around us.

Indiscriminate compassion is the noblest gift of temperament, not to do even the least hurt to one living thing is the highest of all human virtues; but God practises neither. Is man therefore nobler and better than the All-loving?

To exalt one virtue,—compassion even,—unduly above all others is to cover up with one’s hand the eyes of wisdom. God moves always towards a harmony.

                                                                                               ~ Sri Aurobindo (Aphorisms) 

Do I find comfort in these words? Sure I do. Contemplating on these words today is a compassionate thing to do, for myself.

But in addition to feeling the compassion in these words, I also find them teaching me an important lesson -- that of compassion as a means to a greater harmony. Compassion as a means to becoming mindful -- of my choices, my actions, my thoughts, my awareness. This is the lesson I hope to keep in my heart.

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To read previous post in the series, Reminders to self, click here.
To read more posts in the series, click here.

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This is my contribution to the unique global movement called 1000 Voices for Compassion.  Today,  the 20th February 2015, over 1000 bloggers worldwide are publishing posts about compassion. It is an effort to spread goodness and compassion in a world torn by strife and violence.

Linking this with #1000Speak, #1000 voices for compassion  #HinduEnvironmentWeek

BLEW: On Blogging, Learning, Education & Writing (and a bit about NRIs & ex-NRIs too)

It is always a humbling and learning experience when we are asked to talk about ourselves and our work. Last couple of weeks saw me answering some interesting questions about myself, my book, some pesky issues related to Indian Education, my writing and some personal lessons I am learning along the way.

In this post I share my answers to some of the questions -- four, to be precise -- that I found most thought-provoking in two 'author interviews' that came my way. Though many of the questions made me think about what I wanted to say, the questions I have chosen to highlight here are somewhat special. That is because they touched upon all the four activities I am engaged in -- blogging, learning, education and learning. These questions compelled me to do some serious pondering to be more certain that I present my most honest and sincere thoughts on the issues being raised.

I heartily thank Namrata of Writer's Ezine and Ruchika Batra of Namaste Happiness for giving me such wonderful questions to reflect upon.

Now without further ado....

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INTERVIEW I - for Writer's Ezine

From being an academician to becoming a blogger and now a published author. How does it feel? What is the role you are closest to?

Aah, that’s an interesting question! Short answer – it feels very good!

I would say it has been quite a fascinating and rewarding journey so far. As an academician also I was always interested in writing for a broader audience. In fact during my tenure as a professor I was quite involved, for a number of years, with a couple of online discussion groups, focusing on issues related to India, Indian society and culture. And I would often write articles based on such discussions for online magazines, with an objective to bring out some important topics in the larger societal discourse. Some of those articles actually generated intense discussions, and I grew both as a thinker and writer as a result of this exercise. 

My blog, as you know, is inspired by my ongoing study of the works of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother (his spiritual collaborator). This means that it is inspired by and focused around a particular vision of life, living, reality, existence, art, beauty, love, individual, society, world, nation, politics, spirituality and everything. I should add that it is perhaps the widest and deepest and highest vision, the most complete and integral view that I have come across in my seeking. I try to stay as faithful as I can to my guiding inspiration. This also means that I avoid writing on topics and issues that may be trending or being promoted by blogging websites or forums if in my view they don’t fit with my guiding inspiration. I also avoid writing for blogging contests, product promotions and other such things, because of this very reason.

So do I enjoy blogging with this ‘focused’ inspiration? Of course, I do. Otherwise I wouldn't be doing it for almost two years now (my blog will be 2 this April). It gives me an opportunity to deepen my learning, it helps me see the inter-connectedness of a deeply spiritual view of reality and existence with the very living, throbbing and real situations in life – my life, life of the society, life of the nation or the world. 

As for the role of an author, well, I would say I don’t really see this as a new role for me. I have been published a few times before, in academic books and journals. At that time it was part of my role as an academic. Sure, ABC’s of Indian National Education is my first ‘full’ book as such and therefore, very special.

For me, this role of an author has now shifted quite a bit. I am not writing because it is a part of my professional role, I am writing now because I see it now as a means to my inner growth, it helps me practice a few life lessons such as how to develop patience, how to work without an expectation of reward, how to develop a combination of contemplative and critical mental faculties through writing, how to deepen concentration and avoid scattering of thoughts and many more. It is this aspect of writing (whether it is for my blog or for any other websites where I have been published or for this book or any others I may write in future) that I find most satisfying and personally meaningful.

Education which is supposed to be the very base on the future of our country lies, at times becomes the shakiest one with donation seats, paper leaks and other such scams surrounding it from time and again. Of late the new generation is considering foreign shores purely for the ease in lifestyle it offers. Do you see the future of it changing anytime soon?

You are very right about paper leaks, donations for admissions and other such things that we hear about from time to time. These things are totally unacceptable. But you see, I happen to think that the fundamental cause for why such things happen rests in the completely misguided view of education we have come to accept as a society and nation. Education has ended up only as a means for social success, a doorway to socio-economic upward mobility and a key to enter the hallowed chambers of ‘economic elite’ in the society. 

While no one can deny that a good education should help prepare learners for a meaningful vocation in life, but to see education as only that and nothing more than that poses a huge problem. Why are parents willing to pay exorbitant amounts of money for a seat for their child in a reputed school or college? Simply because they know that a certificate or stamp from that institution or a degree in a certain professional field will ensure a good economic future for their child? Why would someone hatch up an elaborate plan to leak an examination paper? Because they know that what matters in the ‘market’ out there is only the test results, not the actual learning. The mindset that leads to such problems is the fundamental cause. And that mindset is the product of the present model of education that is based on a completely materialist and industrialist view of individual and society.

Do I see it changing anytime soon? That’s a tough one. But I sincerely hope that some serious discussion happens on how we need to rethink the fundamentals of our education. In my book also I have emphasized this need for serious rethinking. I also believe that there are some good schools in India where a more holistic view of individual and society is the basis for educational and pedagogical practices. But those are still very few and far in between. We need that spark to become a fire on a much wider and vast scale. 

As for the current generation preferring to go abroad, well, I would say that this is not really a new phenomenon. Indians have been migrating to many different parts of the world for hundreds of years, for various reasons. But certainly, over the past several decades and particularly in the case of migration to the so-called developed countries in the West, we may say that one of their main motivators is perhaps an easier and more comfortable lifestyle. But in many cases we also see young Indians going abroad for higher education. In fact, higher education becomes an entry point gradually leading to settling there as a professional and attaining that comfortable lifestyle they are after. 

I myself have my PhD from the US, and I lived and worked there for about 15 years. And because my entire experience in the US was in the higher education system, I have also understood that there is a great value in gaining that kind of exposure, especially for someone who is interested in pursuing an academic life of teaching and research. There are many positives of American higher education – its overall emphasis on academic rigour, independent inquiry and interdisciplinary and flexible learning being some of them – which can be very helpful for broadening one’s outlook and deepening one’s knowledge in one’s chosen discipline or field of study. So I would say that such opportunities should be encouraged. 

At the same time, for the last couple of decades we have also been seeing a reverse movement – that is people who were settled abroad, particularly in the US and other Western countries, have been moving back to India. I know several such families and individuals. My husband and I are also one of those ex-NRIs. Of course, different people have different reasons for coming back to India, but for many the reasons have also to do with increased economic opportunities in India (while simultaneously the reduced opportunities in their adopted countries because of global economic recession). So in a way that is a good thing, I would say. 

But the larger question, and particularly that concerns the topic of Indian education is this – how can we create world-class higher educational institutions right here in India, which are also based on a view of education that is fundamentally Indian in its spirit? At present, even our best institutions like our IITs and IIMs may also fall short in this, because for the most part they too are based on the same old idea of education being a means to social and economic success alone and the role of education being only limited to prepare an individual to become a ‘productive’ member of the society. This mindset has to change before we can hope for any meaningful outer change in the educational scenario.

To read the full interview, please visit Writer's Ezine by clicking here.

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INTERVIEW II - for Namaste Happiness

What are your thoughts on making spirituality a mandatory subject to be taught in schools?

I am not in favor of introducing Spirituality as a separate subject – mandatory or optional – in school or college level of education. That will never work, and not just because there can be no unanimous understanding of what spirituality really means. There is always a very real danger of reducing spiritual education to book-based religious or moral education, which will be a regressive movement. Spirituality is not something that can be taught as such, it is fundamentally an approach to life, a vision for what it means to be an individual and the aim of individual life, as lived in the society and as lived within.

Let me clarify a bit more. I would rather see our education being wholly guided by a spiritual view of the aim of human life and the role of education in helping the individual prepare himself/herself for that aim of life. In my book, particularly in chapters VII, XI, XXII and XXIII, I have dealt with this issue in rather detail. Let me share just a few key ideas from there.

First of all, our education must be grounded in the true Indian understanding of life-affirming spirituality. Spirituality that motivates growing minds and hearts to experience all the joys of life and living and to expand and deepen their seeking for truth through all that life has to offer; spirituality that takes up all the intellectual, creative, emotional energies and colors them in its own truth.

A truly India-centric education will be based on the spiritual view that proper and gradual development of all parts of an individual is essential not as an end in itself but as a means to grow in one’s soul, because the soul manifests and expresses itself through its outer instruments of mind, heart, and body. Everything else begins to take on a different and deeper meaning when this fundamental view becomes the basis for all our work in the field of education.

Would you like to share some of your epiphanies under the guiding light of Sri Aurobindo and The Mother? (any three)

This is a very difficult question! But I thank you for making it easier by asking me to list any three. So I will do that.

I don’t and will never claim to know much of the infinitely wide, deep and high philosophy and wisdom of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother. I have merely tasted a few drops of the vast ocean of their highly profound Vision so far, but that has been enough to convince me that each drop carries an endless ocean within itself. So based on my admittedly limited understanding, I would say that the three most practical life-lessons I am trying to learn and re-learn and practice, to whatever little extent that is possible given my myriad imperfections of mind, heart, will and effort, are:

1. The life that we live inside of us is just as real or perhaps more real than the life we live outside.
2. Don’t look for the work that you know will make you happy, but try to find happiness, meaning and contentment in all the work that comes to you.
3. Don’t look for the reason behind everything that happens to you in life, you can never really know it all with your mind.

To read the full interview, visit Namaste Happiness by clicking here.

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To read more about my book, click here.
To read some reviews of the book, click here, here and here.

On the Contrary

A new post in the series - When a Picture Leads

Be honest. Do you look at the world as black or white? 

Liberal or Conservative? Left or Right? Progressive or Traditionalist? Global-citizen or Chauvinistic-nationalist? Internationalist or Jingoist? Secular or Fundamentalist? Rational or Superstitious? Believer or Infidel? Reason-able or Blindly-faithful? Idealist or Practical? Abstract or Realistic? Spiritualist or Materialist? Mystical or Down-to-earth? Pro-development or Pro-environment? Pro-market or Communist? Individualistic or Socially-chained? Free or Oppressed? East or West? Right or Wrong? This or That? The list is endless....almost.

We, yes, we all -- the educated ones, the well-read ones, the intellectual ones -- are all victims of such dichotomous lines of thinking. Not because we have been put into one or the other categories, but because we ourselves end up doing the same thing to others we meet and interact with. We like to put people in boxes so we can feel a sense of understanding. We like to read 'into' what people say or write, we even read 'into' their silences by hearing and reading those unspoken and unwritten words. Categories make life simple. Categorizing people makes it simpler.

In our  intellectually egoistic moments we pretend that we have actually transcended these narrow black and white dichotomies and that we don't put people into one or the other category. We like to think that we actually see and appreciate the various grays of the world. We like to tell ourselves (and whoever else will listen) that we don't judge the intention of someone just because the person says or writes something that is ideologically or politically completely opposite to our preferred ideology or politics. 

But that is not generally the truth of ourselves. And the true truth is that we know it. Deep down we know it. We know that we haven't really stopped judging or categorizing people. We know that we still divide the world into black or white. We know that despite all the complex intellectual postmodernism we have consumed we are inwardly still highly fond of simplistic modernistic binaries that are perhaps demonstrative of a deeper truth of the nature of mind, the rough and unrefined instrument we are given to make sense of the world as it exists in its un-evolved existence. 

The mind in its natural state can essentially "accept" only one side of the truth. In order to truly accept all the other possible sides of the truth as equally true, it needs a light from the regions above itself. It needs the assistance of faculties higher than mind. But our un-refined mind refuses to even accept that such light, such faculties are even possible. How could it accept that? It only sees itself as right and others as wrong. This or that, remember? 

We, yes, we all are prisoners of our mind, the willing or unwilling victims of this tendency of mind to categorize and create opposite categories. Perhaps this tendency of mind is itself demonstrative of a deeper truth of the nature of Nature herself. Perhaps it has something to do with the nature of Manifestation itself. Perhaps it has something to do with the nature of the relative plane of existence on which the Absolute Existence chose to manifest and express itself. Perhaps....

Or perhaps we still haven't figured out a way to transcend the limitations of our mind, the limitations of our nature, the limitations of our relative existence. 

Or perhaps we have started to enjoy this mental world of contraries and have gained a certain mastery in how to 'use' such oppositional categories for our relative gain. Which, by default, would lead to a loss for the other. 

Or perhaps, we have yet to realize that hidden deep behind these outer mentally-constructed binaries of 'this or that' rest much deeper contraries of our un-evolved nature. We are wise and stupid. But outwardly we choose to see ourselves as wise and others as stupid who simply don't get how wise we are. We are strong and weak, but outwardly we choose to see ourselves as strong and others as weak who need our assistance to save them. We are righteous and sinful, but of course for the outsiders we are always on the right side and those others are full of sin and vices. We are free and imprisoned, but certainly we are the free ones charged to liberate the others who are still in chains (of their minds or the ones created by society). We are this but others are that. We or others. 

When will we realize that we are indeed creatures of contraries? Ruled by our attachment to our dividing, categorizing minds? 

When will we realize that we are limited and imperfect, we cannot stand for too long the deeper call to transcend our limitations and imperfections? That we are too used to our littleness, to our smallness and are reluctant to change, to expansion, to evolution? 

When will we realize that it is because of this divided nature within that our higher aspiration (momentary as it maybe) of an inner self-exceeding is rejected, the very next moment, by our limited, narrow mind? 

Man, the Despot of Contraries

I am greater than the greatness of the seas,

A swift tornado of God-energy;

A helpless flower that quivers in the breeze

I am weaker than the reed one breaks with ease.

I harbour all the wisdom of the wise

In my nature of stupendous Ignorance;

On a flame of righteousness I fix my eyes

While I wallow in sweet sin and join hell’s dance.

My mind is brilliant like a full-orbed moon,

Its darkness is the caverned troglodyte's.

I gather long Time's wealth and squander soon;

I am an epitome of opposites.

I with repeated life death's sleep surprise;

I am a transience of the eternities.

~ Sri Aurobindo, Collected Poems

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To see previous post in the series, When a Picture Leads, click here.

To see all posts in the series, click here.

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Linking this with ABC Wednesday, C: C is for Contrary, Creature, Categories

Me and Me Too

A new post in the series Reminders to self

ME1: "Writing for writing's sake, sorry not my cup of tea, I mean, why should I write just because....? 

ME2: "Hmm..."

ME1: "I mean, I write when I feel I must express something outwardly, when an experience or thought has become so deeply internalized that I begin to feel that I must write it out to make it more real, to make it more living, in another form....you know what I mean...I must write only when I have something to say."

ME2: "So is there anything you want to say today?"

ME1: "Well...."

ME2: "Then shut up and abandon the pretence, just be."

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To see previous post in the series, Reminders to self, click here.

To see all posts in the series, click here.

Image: Source

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Written for Wordy Wednesday at Blog-a-rhythm, Prompt: What is that I really want to say?

Linking up with Five Sentence Fiction: Prompt: Abandon